Words to live by

“Destroy my desires, wipe out my ideals, show me something better, and I will follow you. Perhaps you'll say it's not worth getting involved; but in that case I can answer you the same way. Our discussion is serious; if you do not deign to give me your attention, I am not going to bow and scrape before you. I have the underground.”

-Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

Jabberwocky, meet iPhone

So... I will not name the party responsible for me deciding to play with predictive text on my iPhone.

Instead, I will impart upon everyone a seminal work in the vein of Tablespoons by Apple Newton. (The original Jabberwocky, and the glorious Tablespoons can be found at the site linked on this super long parenthesized text)

I present to you Jabbed, by iPhone 6, running iOS 9 beta as typed by myself on this evening of August 17, 2015.

Jabbed

The brain, and the sleep tonight 

Did gymnastics and gimme is the way;

All mimic were the boroughs,

And the most rather outgoing.

"Beware the jabbed, my son!

The Japan that bit, the class that can!

Beware the jubilant big, and shut 

The frumpy bandwidth!"

He took his vortex swear in half:

Long time the manager foe he sought—

So ready he bye the tumblr tree,

And stop awesome in though.

And, as in ufologists thought he started,

The jabbed, with eyes of Florida,

Can whiff through the tugboat wood,

And burbling as it came!

One two! One two! And three and three

The vortex swear went snicker-snack!

He left it definitely, and with its head 

He went failure back.

"And hashtag though slapped the jabbed?

Come to my arms, my beams boy!

O Francois day! Calling! Callas!"

He choreographed in his joy.

The brain, and the sleep tonight 

Did gymnastics and gimme is the way;

All mimic were the boroughs,

And the most rather outgoing.