Thursday, November 19, 2015

To self publish, or not to self publish?

So…

I've been writing poetry and short fiction for a very, very long time.

Nowhere near as long as I've been reading, mind you. But then, I've been reading since I was very little.

Last year I tried to set a goal of self publishing some of what I'd written, but I never got around to it.

But… I've got a lot of personal quiet time these days.

And I have access to everything I've written up to now…

And there's about 43 days until it's 2016.

What the hell. I'll try to self publish before the end of the year.

I'd set the goal of trying to publish before my birthday, but that isn't very long from now. I'll take the cushion of 12/31/2015

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Leaving Hope

So, of everything Nine Inch Nails has ever done my all time most favorite piece of work is a little album called Still.

It has some acoustic renditions of major NIN songs, and some of my favorite tracks not found elsewhere:

The Persistence of Loss
Leaving Hope
And All That Could Have Been

Looking back over the last year in regards to myself and the Mac Admin community those three songs sum up everything.

I've dealt with rampant misogyny.

Bullying.

Harassment.

Gatekeeping.

Agism.

I'm done.

I'm sick of it.

I refuse to put up with any more puerile, callow behavior from "adults" my age and older.

I've been harassed, bullied, and driven from the community by women.

I've been gate kept and told that I should take a Stepford Wives approach to how I behave and present myself if I wanted an unpaid position as a session chair at a conference that happened earlier this month.

I've had people I considered my friends and colleagues turn their backs on me, side with the bullies, and kick me out to the cold.

Had folks act oh so concerned, only to completely forget that I exist once they were sure I wasn't so depressed I was going to commit suicide.

I've deactivated my account on the MacAdmins Slack instance. I can only hope and pray that one of the admins from Slack will realize I still have access to their damn github project and remove me from it, as they have failed to remove me from it for over a month and a half.

I give up.

I GIVE UP!

SOMEONE TELL THE BULLIES I GIVE UP!

MacAD.UK will be my last conference, unless I'm explicitly invited to come speak at something going forward, and can find the time and money to attend.

The stress of trying to make the world a better place almost killed me.

Being abandoned and deserted by people I considered to be my friends crushed me.

So, you know what? Have your white, cisgendered, upper middle class male haven Mac Admin community.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Thank you for proving that NOTHING has changed socially in the last 15 years in the tech spheres.

Thank you for proving that it's a Man's World, and I have no place in it.

Oh, and for anyone in the Mac community who has daughters? Don't let your little girls grow up to be geeks. You'll fail them worse than you've failed me and my sister geeks.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

My so called "recipes"

So… About a month ago I moved to my first solo digs ever. Out in a town that was originally known as Galbreath back in ye olden days when my first generation Oregonian pioneer ancestors were still around.

Since then, I've been entirely responsible for myself, which has been both exciting, terrifying, and richly rewarding.

Perhaps most rewarding of all has been my sudden need to feed myself, which means cooking.

…and my might not have any cookbooks at this point in time.

…so I might be making up "recipes" as I go.

Since one of my friends asked for the recipe to some potato soup I made tonight I figured, what the hell, I'll write up some recipes. So, just for you, dear sweet internet, I present "Vegan Brains" and "Umami Addict Potato Leek Soup"

Please note, both recipes are vegan. And, since I know most folks who will stop by this blog are nerds, I have written the recipes in nerd speak.